Monsters Inc.

August 3, 2014 § Leave a comment

What We Are Witnessing Now Is Israel’s ‘Coming of Age’ In The 21st Century. It’s Doting Parent’s (the U.S) Have Given It The Key To The Door And They Think They Know Everything And Can Do Whatever They Please. Otherwise, Smash The Place Up!


August 2nd 2014


Day after day, night after night I watch the horrors unfold in ever more terrifying ways on the beleaguered Palestinians of the Gaza Strip. And thank God that is all I have to endure. I can’t for the life of me imagine actually being there amidst the raw fear and the ripped and charred flesh of children and innocents (and that includes innocent men). Israel has truly become a Monster. Modern history has produced Monsters before. Of Course. But no State actor can presently hold a candle to Israel when it comes to the uncontrollable savagery and demented barbarism we are witnessing right now. Moreover, it is the icy, scientifically applied psychological torture Israel has learnt to inflict on its victims that is the most chilling of all, death being a comfort by contrast. Exhausted, terrified families with young children sent scurrying like cockroaches (not an accidental term for many Israelis) from one place to another in search of temporary sanctuary and respite only to find themselves hours or minutes later engulfed in incendiary and torn by shrapnel dispatched from high-tech weaponry targeted at the very building they were told was safe. – the building they were instructed to go to by the Israeli Army. Perhaps others – all too aware of the IDF’s text-messaging ruse used in previous offensives in which entire extended families are lured out of their homes into convenient single-locations where they can be wiped-out en masse by a single hellfire missile (or other childishly named US-made device) by ‘accident’ – distrust their tormentors and prefer to risk staying put in their homes. Mistakenly. Boom! You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t – this is Israel’s postcode lottery. It is this truly Machiavellian psychological terror they inflict – knowingly and deliberately – on the Palestinians that propels them way out ahead of any other malevolent state actor on the planet today. North Korea excepted, but only North Korea. True sickos and psychos….

Wednesday this week, Israel found itself in a particularly tricky PR position as those witnesses around the world possessing a shred of humanity (ie excluding the likes of morally and intellectually bankrupt Western leaders: Obama, David Cameron, Hollande et al) reacted with disgust at the news that yet another UN refuge compound had been targeted, killing and maiming scores – mainly children. The Israeli ‘PR’ machine went into overdrive lining up the usual talking heads – the professional liars recruited by Israel from around the English-speaking world, Australia, South Africa, Britain, for whom duplicity comes as easily as breathing and breaking wind. Professional, vocational liars. And the BBC dutifully assisted, providing cover at every level. Having begun its earlier news broadcasts by reporting (as were all other UK MSM channels) it was an Israeli rocket that hit the UN building, by tea-time they were assisting the Israeli hasbara machine by spinning the narrative that it was possibly a Hamas rocket that was responsible with the same insouciance they had used just a few weeks earlier (and ever since) in instantly blaming President Putin personally for the downing of MH17 practically before it even hit the ground. No evidence required.

But BBC’s flagship current affairs programme ‘Newsnight (BBC 2 weeknights) was by far the worst offender giving over to the Israeli propaganda machine a full 25 minutes the show (almost half!) to brainwash the dim-witted, gullible, BBC faithful that they – the Israelis – weren’t responsible: Hamas did it… and even if Israel did do it, it was necessary and vital and anyway they had warned the UN to evacuate the building (flatly refuted by UN spokespersons on other news channels)…. it was Hamas’ fault because there were some Hamas fighters in ‘the vicinity’ (whatever that means?… within a few feet, a few hundred feet, several blocks away??), Hamas was committing war crime after war crime and using civilians as human-shields, the Gazans could have had ‘paradise’ but they chose Hamas, and on and on the lies, sanctimonious justifications and sick, cynical perversions of cause and effect came. The professional liars, Lt Col Peter Lerner (a Brit serving in the IDF) the retired army officer Col. Eitland, the sweaty, execrable Aussie, Mark Regev (who was already beginning and ending every nascent sentence with the word ‘Hamas’ at the tender age of 18 months), some South African low-life whose name I can’t even be bothered remembering, one by one, spewed out their chauvinistic garbage, nonsensical explanations and self-serving self-pitying hubris. These are Israel’s 21st Century Message Monsters, insulting us with their mock sympathy for Palestinian civilian casualties, their cocksure conviction that they can brainwash us all given enough BBC airtime, that we are all ‘Israelis’ deep down if only we listen to our hearts and hear their message. (Personally, I find these the most despicable of all the Monsters of Israel. I’d far rather just hear them say they enjoy a good old killing-frenzy in Gaza every few years and couldn’t give shit what the world thinks, but these faux-explanations, the ludicrous justifications they foist on us – well, their purpose is nothing less than to take the rest of humanity down with them to the very bottom of the cess-pit.)

And thanks to the unwavering support of the BBC they couldn’t have had an easier ride. Robert Peston, hosting the BBC 2 show, was compliant with a humongous, capital ‘C’, nodding along dutifully as the lies flowed like wine at a free bar at a Bar Mitzva. Just to help the Israeli narrative as to how ‘necessary’ this current round of collective punishment of the ‘Gazans’ is, in-between Peston’s tame, apologetic interviewing of the Israeli Message Monsters, we were treated to a piece from a young BBC reporter in Tel Aviv telling us how popular the massacre is with ‘ordinary’ Israelis (over 90% apparently loving it) though she appeared not to spot the irony as she gave her piece to camera strolling through a sunlit park where Israelis sat in light summer clothes sipping drinks outside a café and teenagers roller-bladed and skateboarded – such is the never-ending terror of Hamas rockets raining out of the sky day and night, confining them to an existence of fear. Another live shot showed Israelis gathering on hillsides to enjoy picnics and barbeques whilst enjoying the magnificent views of the Gaza Strip being bombed back to the stone-age. Clearly their fear of Hamas rockets was so great that the only solution available to them is mass slaughter of Palestinian children (little vipers as they like to call them) who would otherwise have grown into big vipers. Mowing the grass every few years, reduces the number of little vipers living in it.

Newsnight anchor, Robert Peston, was feeble, pliant and quivering throughout, nodding along at every incomprehensible, inconsistent, incongruous line delivered by the cold-blooded Message Monsters, seemingly oblivious to that fact that it all contradicted what we could all see with our own eyes. All the right ‘leading’ questions were asked by Robert Peston, swallowing his words as he uttered them fearful that he might come across as ‘challenging’. He wanted to know if Israel cared about the high number of civilian casualties and what the rest of the world thinks of Israel. Yes, their hearts bled for the dead civilians, came the insincere replies, such a tragedy, its so regrettable Hamas makes us target schools, hospitals, playgrounds, ambulances, busy markets, UN buildings, but then again they did vote for Hamas didn’t they, so aren’t they asking for it? And anyway, we are a democracy (sic) and don’t democracies have the right to exact collective punishment on a non-democracy (sic)? Robert Peston clearly found all their replies to be perfectly reasonable and acceptable since he didn’t challenge any of them. And so on to the next propaganda-friendly, non-invasive question. No Palestinian representative was invited on to the programme to counter the professional, vocational lie-mongers. It was an excruciating 25 minute spectacle.

In amongst all this brainwashing garbage, the editorial team at Newsnight shoe-horned a 5 minute pre-recorded ‘filmlet’ – an interview with an Israeli citizen living ‘on the edge’ of the “terror-tunnels” dug by Hamas. We were treated to her first-hand account of what its like to live in Israel just a stones throw away from the southern Gaza Strip. She ran some kind of fruit growing enterprise there and was filmed with some of her employees going about their daily business in a poly-tunnel (presumably serving the BBC as a subliminal contrasting analogy to those diabolical Palestinians who choose ‘terror-tunnels’ not poly-tunnels!) One of her workers (an immigrant) had been recently killed by Hamas rocket fire which had somehow snuck through the virtually impenetrable ’Iron Dome’ protective curtain. The BBC seemed to think that they were highlighting some ‘equivalence’ by showing this, that it somehow demonstrated graphically the rationale for Israel’s overwhelming, disproportionate, and indiscriminate use of lethal force, for strafing and leveling whole neighborhoods of Gaza. One has to suspect that the BBC had commissioned this endearing little ‘filmlet’ (probably under request from the Israeli Ministry of Information) and held it in reserve for a forthcoming ‘rainy day’ for Israel’s international image – one they knew would be just around the corner the way they were going. I’m sure it worked a treat on the already brainwashed folk who continue to trust the BBC’s so-called world-famous credibility and impartiality; and comforting for popular pundits like Richard Madley (of Richard & Judy fame) who think it’s clever and intellectually sophisticated to ‘blame both sides equally’.

It would be imprudent to comment much further on the particular circumstances in which this nice old-lady with perfectly-clipped, home-counties diction, found herself living in such an area among the Israeli ‘Peace Corps’, but perhaps we can just allow ourselves the speculation that she has infinitely more choices available to her than the Palestinians not far in the distance, enveloped in plumes of dust behind the barbed-wire. That said, the filmlet served no contextual parallel whatsoever. It was a BBC propaganda filler-item, pure and simple.

By the end of it all, many of the dim-witted BBC faithful will have been convinced that Israel loves Palestinian children more than it loves its own and only blows them to kingdom-come out of kindness to protect them from Hamas who is the root cause and only cause of all the Palestinians troubles including the 25-odd years during which Fatah ruled the Strip, not Hamas, and if only Hamas would just be more like Fatah then the Palestinians would be living in a ‘Paradise’ and be rich from tourism, what with their beautiful beaches strewn with pretty rocket shells and picturesque Israeli gun-boats floating on the horizon, completing the perfect holiday brochure cover-shot.

Some might argue that Robert Peston had a bit of a baptism of fire, his inauguration as Newsnight host inconveniently coinciding with the new Israeli Jihad. But the preceding night, the veteran Newsnight presenter, Kirsty Wark, was equally servile and mealy-mouthed whilst interviewing Message Monster, Dore Gold, possibly the most vile, repugnant man alive, with his world-beating smarmy and sanctimonious manner. Kirsty Wark lapped-up every word.

Bravo BBC! You serve the Monsters of the 21st Century well.


(More to come on the BBC’s aiding and abetting of War Crimes and Crimes Against Humanity…..).



Terrible Truth About UK Households –Revealed.

August 25, 2010 § Leave a comment

Thanks to award-winning investigative journalist Jane Corbin and the BBC Panorama team responsible for last week’s dramatic expose: ‘Death in The Med’ (BBC2 Monday 16th Aug), I have been alerted to the fact that I may be harbouring a deadly weapons cache in my own home.

After conducting an intensive search of my kitchen drawers and garden shed that lasted 5 whole minutes, it was confirmed that indeed I possesed many weapons identical to those found on the Mavi Marmara by the Israeli Authorities, including lethal vegetable knives, disposable razors, craft knives, an office stapler, garden shears (needing repair) and – alarmingly – some plastic protective eye-goggles. My initial shock quickly turned to horror when I realised that possibly as many as every household in the UK may be unwittingly harbouring such weapons – clearly a domestic terrorist threat and maybe even a deliberate provocation at Israel.

I have tried to turn myself in to the authorities, but they refuse to listen, and so I urge every household in the UK to contact the Panorama team, sending them photographs of their own weapons caches and urging them to cover this story without delay. We are sleepwalking towards disaster unless we act now. (For maximum effect please ensure your photographs are taken at a good resolution and send them without compression in an email to thus clogging up their server).

We need to show Israel we’re with them 100% on everything they say and do, and there’s no better vehicle for communicating this than via the BBC and reporter’s like Jane Corbin. Thank you.

Stop Press: Deadly Weapons Cache Uncovered in UK Home

August 24, 2010 § Leave a comment

Weapons include: Kitchen knives (assorted), corkscrews, craft knives, disposable razors (male and female), staple gun, garden shears, extensible pruners, electric jigsaw, spade, small hacksaw, garden trowel, protective goggles, small plastic wrench.

No stun guns, paintball guns, 9 mm pistols or automatic assault rifles or gunboats were found amongst the cache, but since these don’t really qualify as weapons this doesn’t diminish the very severe nature of the cache in question.

Political Musings from Skullduggery Inc.

August 24, 2010 § Leave a comment

Tony Camel Writes to Dave Cameron on ‘Deficit Reduction and The Big Society’.

June 18, 2010 § Leave a comment

                                                                                                      T Camel
                                                                                                     (Addess Redacted)

18th June 2010.

Dear Prime Minister,

(A personalised copy of this has been sent to the Chancellor of the Exchequer)

Congratulations on becoming first ever Prime Minister of the ‘Big Society’.

Your clarion call to the good people of the UK to ‘come up with ideas to reduce the deficit’ is one that I wholeheartedly welcome. I knew you’d get us off to a good start.

Feeling the keen responsibility of public service upon my shoulders as a proud member of your Big Society, I have been thinking like Aristotle but was on the verge of giving up when suddenly I was struck by a bolt of inspiration. Without further ado, and since I know you’re busy Prime Minister, here is my proposal:

It is common knowledge that our Judicial and Penal systems in the UK are an immense financial burden, costing billions upon billions annually. So, why not do away with most of it? (Because law and order would immediately collapse, comes the collective answer). Not at all. If we look to the example of international law, an alternative system is staring us in the face – one that would cost a fraction of our current one. In this alternative system, known criminals and repeat offenders would not be put through the justice system but instead, would be charged with conducting an investigation into themselves and their wrongdoings. This is not as crazy as it sounds, as I will attempt to explain…

Parameters would need to be set to ensure that these investigations meet acceptable standards of impartiality, credibility and transparency – in the case of international law this is achieved by the friends and family of the perpetrator nominating two ‘observers’ to oversee the investigation. Crucially, no witnesses are required to testify and there is no cross-examination (this is where much of the money is saved). To give a semblance of legitimacy to the proceedings and ensure the public’s faith in the process, an ex-judge chairs the whole affair (retired judge’s come much more cheaply than active judges – another saving). So, we see savings all the way down the line, but the real beauty of this system – and where TRULY MASSIVE SAVINGS will be made – lies in the predictability of the investigations findings wherein the criminal is free to go about their criminal behaviour in a quid pro quo for delivering the requisite self-admonishment. Thus we would do away with custodial sentences completely!

Contrary to our intuition, this works. Foreign Secretary William Hague made this very clear in a recent address to the Commons where there was a heated debate about a country that is said to systematically violate and hold in contempt international law. Here is how he reassured the House:

“commissions and enquiries have on occasion been established ….  that have delivered stinging criticism of the Israeli Government and armed forces, although on other occasions such enquiries have not done so when we might have thought they were merited.”

         “Israel has previously held inquiries into some of the events in Lebanon in the 1980’s and into the Lebanon War in 2006 that certainly were independent and credible by international standards, and that meted out considerable, and sometimes severe criticism to the authorities in Israel. It is possible for them to do that.”

One must accept Foreign Secretary Hague’s assertions at face value. “Considerable” and “stinging” criticism was delivered, he says, thereby proving those who would seek to discredit such a judicial system, wrong. Because no-one was indicted, costly trials in The Hague were scrupulously avoided, thus saving the European taxpayer a small fortune. We must also note that following the “independent and credible” inquiry into “the events in Lebanon in the 1980’s”, Israel committed a repeat act of aggression against Lebanon in 2006 in which they were able to put into practice the lessons they’d learnt from their punishing self-criticism of earlier, only partially destroying Beirut instead of completely destroying it. Hence we can begin to see the validity of Mr Hague’s, at first glance strange, logic. This is further exemplified by the damning inquiry Israel conducted on itself for that later crime, which precipitated their act of aggression against Gaza in Xmas of 2008, in which no part of Beirut was bombed at all. So, here we have empirical evidence that this sort of stripped-down legal system could work well here in the UK in a domestic sense. At an average cost of £100’000 per prisoner per annum saved, this would help the UK economy enormously. (We already have seen a limited version of this enacted vis a vis the UK banking system and financial institution’s humungous embezzlement of the public purse, to great advantage (to them), so it’s really just a question of rolling it out through the rest of the legal system).

I understand that this type of proposal would usually come under the remit of the Home Secretary, so I will be writing to her hoping that she will find merit in my scheme, but I wanted to share this with you first, Prime Minister, to give you confidence that your call to the Big Society at large hasn’t fallen on deaf ears. By the way, as a public servant in the truest sense, I would prefer to remain anonymous as the architect of this groundbreaking legal overhaul, so I urge you not to put my name about in the corridors of Westminster, and especially not to the Right Hon. William Hague who may think I have ‘nicked his idea’.

I hope both you and Cherie settle well into No.10

Kind regards,

Tony Camel.

Tony Camel Writes to Minister of State – Dr Kim Howells on Iraqi Oil.

March 13, 2008 § Leave a comment

Tony Camel

(Address Redacted)

13th March 2008.

Minister of State –  Dr Kim Howells MP

Foreign & Commonwealth Office

King Charles St


Dear Dr Kim Howells,

How lovely to hear from you again and for restoring my faith that the little people  – like myself – really do have a voice! I am almost ashamed that my faith in this great democracy of ours ever wobbled!

On the subject of the Iraqi Oil Law, you once again make your case with a great mixture of clarity and devilish wit….. “a lot of nonsense is published about the Oil Law” you remarked in your recent email to me. Spot on! I myself have come across reams and reams of this ‘nonsense’ – most of it to be found in the official PR copy circulated by the corporate lobbyists, primary stakeholders and other parties of an enterprising bent (no need to name them’d take me all day!) – those patriots who’ve been working tirelessly for the past 5+ years to get this oil deal done and dusted. How could anyone expect us and our American friends to pull it off without resorting to a little bit of harmless manufacturing of consent? Blimey….if our leaders were afraid to invoke a bit of perception management when it mattered we’d never achieve anything on the international stage, would we? Personally I’m all for a dodgy dossier now and then if it means my shares in BP grow fatter, I’m sure you agree. That a few perceptive folk like you and I correctly perceive what is published as ‘nonsense’ shouldn’t detract from the essential fact that it works wonders on the dim-witted general public at large, going about their business of making money, wearing their Eye-Pods and upgrading their 4 x 4’s. Manufacturing consent comes cheap when you’ve got the virtually whole nation operating on ‘autopilot’ as senseless consumers, so from a cost-benefit point of view it’s a complete no-brainer. Nice work!

Whilst you were busy touring Erbil, Baghdad and Basra I had the chance to meet a very disarming (no pun intended!) gentleman from that part of the world called Hassan Juma’a Awad – you may have heard of him? He represents 26’000 workers in the oil sector affiliated to the Iraqi Federation of Oil Unions and says that he wants ..”a new, different law, which will be in the interests of Iraqis.” In fact, in a recent poll, most Iraqis said they wished Iraq’s oil to be developed and produced by Iraqi public sector companies rather than foreign companies. I have to say that hearing Mr Awad recount how he and his oil worker colleagues ingeniously kept the oil industry running through several devastating wars and sanctions, and how – more recently –  the actions of Al Shahrastani (arrest warrants issued against union leaders and the sabotaging of oil installations by proxies to undermine their credibility) – have been “similar to those undertaken by Saddam’s regime”,  almost brought a tear to my eye. But then… suddenly I remembered my BP shares…and in my mind’s-eye appeared an image of your good-self beavering away at the Foreign & Commonwealth Office to keep British share prices up at all cost, and in a flash I realised I had regained my senses!

Anyway… to get to the point, I was wondering if perhaps – in light of all we have discussed – you could answer a pertinent question of mine….

What can we do to ensure that UK interests are not overshadowed by Iraqi interests? (With oil prices now exceeding $100 pb & with us having footed the bill for invading and occupying them, isn’t it our duty as utility maximisers to grab as much oil as we can whilst the fledgling Iraqi constitution still enables us to?) I am anxious to know your thoughts on this matter. I hope you can oblige when you have a moment?

On a different note… thank you for the update on your allotment. Hopefully you’ll find time to remove those weed covers and really get stuck in once ‘The Deal of the Century’s’ done! You’ll be pleased, I’m sure, to hear that my own allotment debacle is now finally sorted, and my antagonists taught a valuable lesson – a homage to Nixon & Kissinger, Indochina style. The other night I sneaked onto the site armed with a tank of barely diluted general- purpose herbicide, and sprayed the lot..that is…everyone’s lot. I’ve now put my name down for an allotment elsewhere. I think you’ll agree, that sometimes force is the only way forward!

Your supporter, always listening and learning…

Sincerely yours,

Tony Camel.

(Father, ex allotment-keeper, and shareholder in UK PLC!)

PS: Since I’ve always enjoyed your comical asides so much, I thought …why not let me tell you a joke for a change? Actually it’s more of an amusing anecdote doing the rounds in the right-wing think tanks at the moment. It goes like this…

Blair and Bush are enjoying a cozy prayer together in the White House chapel. When Blair begins to levitate Dubya shouts out in his dozy Texan drawl – “Yo Blair….less air!” (I am led to believe that Tony makes a bit of a habit of this, much to the chagrin of Bush….no wonder the quip!)

I hope you enjoyed that – it made me chuckle when I heard it. (Not as good as yours though!)